Watch out!
Last night I was watching the news and they were talking about 5 people in the Stanwood, WA area that was hit by lightning during our storm last night. 5 PEOPLE! Holy crap. Anyway, that is not what I'm focusing on here.
During the news cast, they were saying a non-profit organization is going through a Thunder & Lightning Safety Awareness excercise. The "best advice" was "to avoid getting struck by lightning, just watch out for thunderstorms".
Uh... what? OK.
Well, with that said, I guess I understand why this organization is "non-profit". They are so obvious that no one would pay them a dime.
So, in honor of what I will call "Captain Obvious Safety Awareness", I decided to add a few safety notices myself. Maybe I can get paid for all my hard work here, multiplying their effectiveness to a wide range of safety issues.
Disclaimer: If, while reading any of my safety precautions above, you had an epiphone... then this is solid proof that evolution has been proven WRONG.
During the news cast, they were saying a non-profit organization is going through a Thunder & Lightning Safety Awareness excercise. The "best advice" was "to avoid getting struck by lightning, just watch out for thunderstorms".
Uh... what? OK.
Well, with that said, I guess I understand why this organization is "non-profit". They are so obvious that no one would pay them a dime.
So, in honor of what I will call "Captain Obvious Safety Awareness", I decided to add a few safety notices myself. Maybe I can get paid for all my hard work here, multiplying their effectiveness to a wide range of safety issues.
- To avoid getting carjacked, watch out for carjackers.
- To avoid getting getting VD, watch out for people with diseases prior to sleeping with them.
- To avoid getting in a car accident, watch out for cars (or fast approaching telephone polls) that are about to hit you .
- To avoid getting stuck in a hostage situation, don't walk into a building that is full of people tied up with guns to their heads by guys with ski masks on.
- To avoid becoming dumber by the minute, don't watch Dr. Phil.
- To avoid drowning, keep water out of your lungs.
- To avoid falling from a tree, don't climb it.
- To avoid getting bit by a dog, don't piss him off.
Disclaimer: If, while reading any of my safety precautions above, you had an epiphone... then this is solid proof that evolution has been proven WRONG.
Labels: advice, evolution proven wrong, jackassery, useless info
I wish I heard that one about VD when I was younger.
Though, I am not sure why your disclaimer says that evolution is proven wrong by receiving a guitar... wait, an epiphany just struck me - great guitar players must be gods!
Epiphone
Epiphany
Posted by
Mink |
6/26/2007 04:02:00 PM
Hm. Damn spellcheck. Good thing spelling isn't part of the so-called evolutionary cycle.
Posted by
Rooster |
6/26/2007 05:57:00 PM
Damn it! Now thanks to you, I’m going to have a harder time taking hostages at my next hostage taking seminar.
Posted by
MGD |
6/26/2007 08:47:00 PM