Who am I?

  • Hi, I'm Rooster. I'm not going to waste space on here telling you about me. If you want to know who I am and what I'm about, check out my profile on MySpace. You can also email me by clicking here.

The Rooster's Thoughts

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Sexy Mama?

My advice: Before you post your MySpace tagline as "Sexy Mama" or post explicit photos, why don't you take a look at your pictures. Take a real good look and ponder the following questions:
  • I weigh XXX pounds. Since a camera always adds 10 pounds, can I justify calling myself "Sexy Mama" in the eyes of all who will see my profile?
  • Do hairy armpits in my gratuitous booby shot help define me as a "Sexy Mama"?
  • A mole above the lip can be considered a beauty mark. Is the same considered for my Mt. Fuji-size zits above my lip, on my chin, and on my forehead? Do the zits exude a "Sexy Mama" persona?
  • If the horse in the background is the most attractive thing in the picture, can I rightfully call myself "Sexy Mama"?
The answer to all these questions is HELL NO.

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What Grinds My Gears

You know what REALLY grinds my gears? Stupid bitches. My fiance (not the stupid bitch, just to clarify), has been friends with some girl (the stupid bitch) at her work for some time now. My fiance introduced her to her boyfriend, has been there for her through all her drama and listened to all her "woe-is-me" shit, and hung out with her when she had no other friends... yada yada yada. The whole shabang, being a great friend.

They were both in the same position at their company and were both shooting for higher positions. They made an agreement not to go for the same positions. They told each other which positions they were going for so that they didn't cross each other's applications. Well, one person held to that agreement... my fiance.

The stupid bitch ends up applying for the same position as my fiance. They go through the interview process and the stupid bitch ends up getting the job. Words from the hiring manager: "[Stupid Bitch] only got the position because she has a degree, even though you were much more qualified".

WTF?! First off, the Stupid Bitch just proved herself to be a real shitty friend, shitty person, and all around just a dumb cunt. Ya, I went there. I hope you read this Stupid Bitch. You will know exactly who you are! You are a fucking traitor! I already knew you were a psycho bitch when it came to you dating my buddy, but when you fuck with the woman I love, you hit a new low.

Secondly, WTF is wrong with this company?! You hire someone with a piece of paper when you know someone else is more qualified for the job? You are fucking idiots. No wonder all your products are shit. I wouldn't even buy a light bulb from you fucking morons.

Now back to you, Stupid Bitch. I hope you fail miserably at this job. I hope my buddy opens his eyes and sees you for the unrealistic psychotic bitch you are. I want your traitorous faults to be exposed to all so you can experience your friends (by association only) and colleagues turn their backs on you like you did to my fiance.

For everyone else reading this... sorry you had to see/read this side of me. Trust me, it takes A LOT to get me to this point.

I guess this just goes to say something about the friends I've had for so many years. I thank you and praise you for your friendships, for being there when I needed you, for feeling comfortable enough to come to me when you need me, for being just all around good people. I pray that you never get involved with someone like Stupid Bitch. Just to set expectations, I will NOT put up this shit for anyone else. If you do get involved with someone like this, please know that when I say something about it - take it seriously, don't be offended for long. I'm only trying to help not just you, but everyone esle in our circle. We don't need this shit.

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Wednesday, June 27, 2007

New Slide Show

OK, so I updated the picture slideshow at the top of this page to a rotating cube. I really like it, but the fact that it's not centered is pissing me off. The code is set to align="middle" but it's just not working. So if you have a suggestion, let me know. If not, you'll have to deal with it just like me.

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Monday, June 25, 2007

Watch out!

Last night I was watching the news and they were talking about 5 people in the Stanwood, WA area that was hit by lightning during our storm last night. 5 PEOPLE! Holy crap. Anyway, that is not what I'm focusing on here.

During the news cast, they were saying a non-profit organization is going through a Thunder & Lightning Safety Awareness excercise. The "best advice" was "to avoid getting struck by lightning, just watch out for thunderstorms".

Uh... what? OK.

Well, with that said, I guess I understand why this organization is "non-profit". They are so obvious that no one would pay them a dime.

So, in honor of what I will call "Captain Obvious Safety Awareness", I decided to add a few safety notices myself. Maybe I can get paid for all my hard work here, multiplying their effectiveness to a wide range of safety issues.

  • To avoid getting carjacked, watch out for carjackers.
  • To avoid getting getting VD, watch out for people with diseases prior to sleeping with them.
  • To avoid getting in a car accident, watch out for cars (or fast approaching telephone polls) that are about to hit you .
  • To avoid getting stuck in a hostage situation, don't walk into a building that is full of people tied up with guns to their heads by guys with ski masks on.
  • To avoid becoming dumber by the minute, don't watch Dr. Phil.
  • To avoid drowning, keep water out of your lungs.
  • To avoid falling from a tree, don't climb it.
  • To avoid getting bit by a dog, don't piss him off.
OK, I think I've given you enough advice that you can learn and live by, allowing you to stay alive for a little while longer.

Disclaimer: If, while reading any of my safety precautions above, you had an epiphone... then this is solid proof that evolution has been proven WRONG.

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Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Two thumbs down...

So, I never saw Ghost Rider in the theater, so I decided to pick it up. First things's first: Pay attention to the price of the DVD! I bought several items with it, so it slipped past me. Apparently the DVD, not even being HD or a bundle pack, was $35.00!!!

I won't go into details about the movie, but I will tell you it sucked. It was very open-ended and had a cheesy plot line that didn't follow the comic book very much at all, and the CG was pretty tacky.

Save the 123 minutes of your life and the $35 in your wallet and go get yourself a steak and a few drinks, or maybe even a cheap hooker if you can't get any for free. At least this way you'll walk away happy. Unless the hooker had crabs or something. In that case, you should have just bought the DVD. Dumbass.

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Thursday, May 17, 2007

Well Said!

Today I got an email from my buddy who is a Marine and serving in Iraq as we speak. He shared the below with me stating he and all his fellow troops will stand by this message. I think, even though it is quite lengthy, needs to be read by everyone. It was written by Jay Leno and not comical at all. This is a side of Leno we don't normally get to see, but I personally would like to see more often. So read this, take it to heart, and quit your bitchin' you nutty leftists.

"The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right?
The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the president. In essence 2/3s of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a change.
So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, ''What we are so unhappy about?''
Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter? Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job? Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?

Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state? Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter?
I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.
Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames thus saving you, your family and your belongings.

Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90 percent of teenagers own cell phones and computers.

How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world? Maybe that is what has 67 percent of you folks unhappy.
Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S. , yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.
I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all he spoiled u ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks?
The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me? Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad?

Think about it......are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the "Media" told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day.

Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go.

They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an ''other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario, a ''dishonorable'' discharge after a few days in the brig.

So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans? Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells, and when criticized, try to defend their actions by "justifying" them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book about how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way......Insane!
Stop buying the negativism you are fed everyday by the media. Shut off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as a country. There is exponentially more good than bad.

We are among the most blessed people on Earth and should thank God several times a day or at least be thankful and appreciative."

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
Jay Leno

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy VD... Uh...

I've seen a lot of people put "Happy VD" on their Messenger tag line today. I'm not sure if they really thought about what that looks like, but this is definitely not something you should use use an acronym on.

For those of you that are reading this and still don't get the irony behind using this acronym, I'll spell it out for you... These people are intending "VD" to stand for Valentines Day, but this is actually the acronym for Venereal Disease!

So, my lesson to you today is not to say "Happy VD", unless you actually have it and you just gave it to someone you don't like. Oh, by the way, if the latter is the truth, let me know. I really don't want to hang out with you anymore...

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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Hobo Hotline

As I let you all know in my previous post about losing my job, I had to call the Hobo Hotline, also known as the Unemployment Hotline, yesterday (Tuesday).

"Due to a high volume of calls, we are currently experiencing heavy wait times. You're expected wait time is Wednesday through Friday."

I am not joking. I am not being a smartass. This is what the Hobo Hotline actually said.

So, for all you people out there that are getting laid off or losing your jobs for whatever other reason, just go to the website and file online.

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Friday, January 26, 2007

Xbox Live

Hey, Xbox... you're Live Silver membership is worthless. Just thought I'd share that. I was supposed to be a nerd tonight and play Gears of War online with some buddies but alas, my membership does not have this ability.

Due to the job situation as described below, I'm not in a position to drop $50 on a membership until I know I am safe in my employment.

If Xbox were more like Playstation, the membership would be free and I could call "Game On!!!!" tonight like the nerd in me wants to say.

Whatever.

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Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Tigger

You know what grinds my gears? People like the Monoco family that are suing Disneyland because Tigger hit their son.

Has anyone watched the CBS interview with this family?

Anyone with half a brain can see this family has been coached by their lawyer and is lying through their teeth. The little bastard didn't even get hit that hard, however, he had enough "neck pain" to necessitate medication. They say the kid never provoked Tigger, but if you even glance at the video, you can see the kid did something to Tigger when he reached behind Tigger's back. However, "they did nothing to provoke Tigger.

This case is just as stupid as that one moron lady who sued McDonalds because SHE spilled hot coffee on herself.

Personally, I think we should, with a lack of better terms, kill two birds with one stone: Line up the Monoco kid next to the Burning Coffee Lady, give Tigger a pair of boxing gloves and have him beat the ever living crap out of them. Justice is served.

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Monday, January 08, 2007

What's the capital of Thailand?

The city of Bangkok has gone forward with the best thing since sliced bread:

Naptime!

Based on employee feedback, the City of Bangkok has implemented afternoon naptime in their office. Employees say they feel more refreshed and productive when they take naps in the middle of the day. With that said, this office has constructed a nap room with soft music, sweet-smelling flowers and strict rules disallowing mobile phones and talking.

Listen up corporate America... a happy employee is a productive employee, so let us nap. Just ask Bangkok. If you refuse to follow this trendset, come find me and let me ask you "What is the capital of Thailand?" so that I can punch your junk.

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