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  • Hi, I'm Rooster. I'm not going to waste space on here telling you about me. If you want to know who I am and what I'm about, check out my profile on MySpace. You can also email me by clicking here.

The Rooster's Thoughts

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Lithps are funny

Note: This entire post is spoken in "lisp".

Tho, my thtep-daughter-to-be jutht got her bratheth on yethterday. Ath part of the protheth, the orthodontitht had to put a bridge behind her two front teeth. Thith is thuppothed to help the overbite.

Ath thuch, thhe hath a major lithp. Everything thhe thays hath a lithp. It ith funny as thit. Ethpethially when thhe thtartth talking about her anime cartoonth. I can't recall all the nameth, but thhe did thpout them off a minute ago and all I heard wath:

"th-thththth-thth-th" or thomething along thothe lineth.

Tho, my advithe to you ith that if you ever need good tholid entertainment, throw thome brathes on your kid. If you don't have a kid, come on over to my houthe for hourth of endleth entertainment.

Well, thath all for now. Thee ya later thuckas!

P.S. Who's cruel idea was it to put the letter S in the word LISP?

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Friday, July 13, 2007

Had to share this pic...

I saw this picture on one of my friend's myspace profiles and laughed so hard I snorted and had tears in my eyes. I hope you find this as funny as I did. You may have to click to open in a new window to see it right.



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Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Project Passat, Phase 2...

Phase 2 of Project Passat has been completed!

- Bilstein Sport Shocks
- H & R springs, dropping 1.75" in the front, 1.5" in the rear

It makes such a difference. It's like I'm driving on rails. After I got the alignment, I took the car for a test drive on a certain road that has all sorts of weaves, turns, corners, and of course, never any cops. It's actually a private business road that for some crazy reason is not closed and can be access by anyone. Anyway, let's just say that I was taking those turns anywhere between 60-75 mph, barely even getting any body roll/sway. There still was some, so I think that just means Project Passat Phase 2.1 will be coming around shortly: Front and rear sway bars.

After that will be Phase 3. This will be some engine work. An APR chip upgrade, new diverter valve, and depending on funds after buying this house I am in the process of, a downpipe and cat-back exhaust.

Anyway, here are the new pics:



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Thursday, June 14, 2007

Tilt Steering Wheel = More Head Room

Good ol' Seattle gets some good stories. My fiance passed this one on to me and I felt it had to be shared.

Basically, some dude and his girlfriend got pulled over from driving eratically in a Seattle suburb. The trooper walks up to find both of them naked. They were gettin it on while driving. Oh, and there were some bottles in the back to.

So this story uncovers that there is a law calling "embracing while driving" a misdemeanor. I did not know that...

You can read the full story here.

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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Lessons learned...

So, getting ready for the PNW sponsored Drive to Leavenworth (this is an annual charity event where all the VWs, Audis, BMWs, and Porsches make a road trip to Eastern Washington) , I wanted to get suspension for my Passat, so I found the "best deal" for Bilstein shocks on Autozone.

Ya, I know you guys are probably already snickering at this one. I've never ordered from them before so I didn't know how moronic they are.

So, 7 days after ordering the shocks (also getting my H&R springs seperately from Futrell Autowerks), FedEx drops the packages at my house. I was expecting 2 boxes, one being the front shocks and the other being the rear.

My first indication that something was wrong was that one of the boxes was 2'x2'x6". Hmm... those front shocks must huge!

I opened the big box to find a radiator for a Honda.

I opened the other box and found one rear shock. Just one.

WTF?!?! Lesson learned: Never order from Autozone, they suffer from what I call jackassery.

So, I'm freaking out because I already have an appointment on Saturday to have them installed.

Since I just had great customer service from Futrell Autowerks, I called Aaron to see if there was any way they could get them in by Friday night. Aaron made a few calls, then called me back with great news.

The shocks will be in tomorrow night, by 5:30.

My highest regards to Futrell. They just secured business with me for life. Nice work Futrell. Cheers to you.



Update: To top everything off, I took the radiator and the ONE shock back to a local Autozone store so I could get my money back immediately and not have to deal with the return shipping. Here is what the manager said:

1) "I don't know what I'm going to do with this radiator. Wanna sell it? We have no record that you have this."
2) "Autozone.com always does **** like this. I can't believe it, I deal with this at least 5 times a week."
3) (Last but definitely not least) "Don't ever shop at Autozone. The website, here, or any other store. This company sucks. I'm just here for the paycheck."


I ended up getting the rest of my shocks at about 12:30 today. Now it's just time for installation, aka Project Passat, Phase 2!

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Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Project Passat, Phase 1

Well, it's official. Project Passat has kicked off. I got my new wheels today. They are 18" Privat Netz and I have to say, I freakin love 'em. It's amazing how much of a difference wheels make on a car. In fact, I'll show you the difference here with a "before" and "after" picture:

Before


After:


The first picture isn't the best quality, but you get the idea.

If you look closely, you'll also notice that took off the God-forsaken mudflaps. If you own a VW that has ever had mudflaps, you will understand the frustration. They scrape on everything, and loudly. So those little bastards are gone now.

I also de-badged my car so that it doesn't say Passat on it anymore. It's not that I don't like the name Passat, it's just that it looks much cleaner without the emblem. Here's another pic:



So, now that Phase 1 is complete, it's time to quickly move to Phase 2: Suspension. I'll be placing the order tonight for Bilstein shocks and Neuspeed springs, droppin' it 1.5 inches and what I like to call "curb mockery". If you like to drive like me or any of my buddies that drive euro's, you know exactly what curb mockery is.

Until next time.

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Sunday, May 20, 2007

The Uber GTI

Alright, I'm a VW fanatic. You know this, I know this. Now I'm a little bit more crazy about 'em after seeing this. I got this article from Coolest Gadgets. While you read this, I'm gonna go change my pants because wow, after reading this myself, I need to. Oh, for you metrically challenged people 100kmh is about the same as 60mph... in 3.7 seconds.

The Golf GTI is the favorite hot-hatch of the world. It’s currently at its fifth generation. Yearly, in Worthersee Austria, there’s a GTI festival, where owners and fans of the GTI pay some hommage to this great car.
This year it’s the GTI’s 3-th anniversary, and Volkswagen have decided to reward their fans with a very, very special edition of the GTI. We’re talking an engine which is situated above the one found in the Phaeton (and Bentley Continental GT by that matter), and not so much below the one found in the Bugatti Veyron. It can do 100 kmh in 3,7 seconds, and exceed 200 mph.

What VW did here was to mid-mount a 6-liter W12 engine to a 3-door Golf and install a rear-wheel drive, making it a thoroughbred racer.


The engine is spectacular. It’s an evolution of the Phaeton’s 450 HP V12. It is made of aluminium in order to reduce the weight, has twin turbos and measures up at only 51×71x71cm, making it very compact. Its cooling systems receive air from the two big vents located just in front of the rear wheels.
The power is transmitted to the rear wheels, after passing trough a 6-gear Tiptronic transmission. I think a CVT transmission would have fared much better, but this type of tranny does not have too many fans among race drivers.
In order to give the new Golf the stability it needed, it has been widened by 16 cm and lowered by seven. Also, lots of aerodynamic aids have been added to the bottom, making wings and spoilers obsolete.
Design-wise, it’s also a notable evolution. The car looks sleek, with sexy wheels, and even discreet. While the huge air intakes and the four exhaust pipes hint towards power, it’s still hard to immagine its tremendous power just by looking at it.

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Thursday, May 17, 2007

Well Said!

Today I got an email from my buddy who is a Marine and serving in Iraq as we speak. He shared the below with me stating he and all his fellow troops will stand by this message. I think, even though it is quite lengthy, needs to be read by everyone. It was written by Jay Leno and not comical at all. This is a side of Leno we don't normally get to see, but I personally would like to see more often. So read this, take it to heart, and quit your bitchin' you nutty leftists.

"The other day I was reading Newsweek magazine and came across some poll data I found rather hard to believe. It must be true given the source, right?
The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of the country is unhappy with the performance of the president. In essence 2/3s of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a change.
So being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, ''What we are so unhappy about?''
Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter? Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job? Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?

Maybe it is the ability to drive from the Pacific Ocean to the Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state? Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter?
I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.
Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames thus saving you, your family and your belongings.

Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90 percent of teenagers own cell phones and computers.

How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world? Maybe that is what has 67 percent of you folks unhappy.
Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S. , yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.
I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all he spoiled u ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks?
The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me? Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad?

Think about it......are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the "Media" told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day.

Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases may have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go.

They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an ''other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario, a ''dishonorable'' discharge after a few days in the brig.

So why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans? Say what you want but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells, and when criticized, try to defend their actions by "justifying" them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O.J. Simpson to write a book about how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way......Insane!
Stop buying the negativism you are fed everyday by the media. Shut off the TV, burn Newsweek, and use the New York Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as a country. There is exponentially more good than bad.

We are among the most blessed people on Earth and should thank God several times a day or at least be thankful and appreciative."

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
Jay Leno

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Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Joys of Having Cable

I spend a lot of time complaining about service-providing companies. I've complained, from my own experience being a customer service rep to being the customer myself, about how much of a pain in the butt these companies can be. I've dealt with "that guy" and I've been "that guy".

Well, my issue was that my cable was all out of whack. I have Comcast HD and found that any channel above 30 was blacked out. I had to power cycle my cable box just to get the stations back. Then the next issue would occur: I would change to a non-HD channel and then the picture would be all garbled and wouldn't go away. It was really annoying.

Anyway, I call Comcast. I dread hold times. I hate calling customer service, but I had to do this. So I call and the IVR says the hold time will be 5-15 minutes. Crappy, right? No! The IVR then gives me the option to enter my phone number and then they will place me in the queue so that when it comes my turn, they will call me. Very cool. So I did it and got the call back in about 3 minutes.

The coolness didn't stop there. I'm talking to the rep, telling her my issue, and she apologized for the inconvience and then asked how long this was happening. I told her about 3 months. She says OK, $33 a month, 3 months, I'll go ahead and credit $99 for you. WHOA! I didn't even ask for that! Freaking awesome. She then says she's going to need to send a technician out to my house to fix my cable box. Coolest customer service rep ever.

Fast forward to today when the technician shows up. He does a couple things on the box and then has me test it all out. While I'm testing it all out, he told me a little trick with HD TVs and basic cable.

Apparently, if you connect the cable directly to the TV (as long as it has an HD tuner built-in) and change the channel to x.1 (so if you wanted to watch channel 13 in HD, you'd change the channel to 13.1), you'll get the HD version. Even better, you will get all the paid channels that you might not normally have. So, I'll get HBO, Showtime, whatever.

Freakin sweet.

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Monday, May 14, 2007

Mother's Day

Ah, Mother's Day. A day to recognize and show our appreciation to the women who brought us into this world - And deal with our crap, for at least 18 years, and most likely many years beyond that.

I, amongst many other people, went to go visit my Mom yesterday. She is a wonderful lady. Very kind, sweet, and just all around a great person. The best Mom I could ever ask for.

It's funny to note that even though I'm 26 years old, 9 years since I moved out, that my Mom still finds it necessary to "raise me right". My Mom is very old-fashioned. A "Southern Belle" as some might say (yes, she's from the South).

I've done a lot of crazy stuff since I moved out at 17 years old. I've done a lot of stupid stuff. I've almost gotten myself killed a few times. My Mom doesn't know any of this, and I'd much rather not tell her. Ever.

In my last 8-10 years I have done lots and lots of drugs. Basically if I could drop it, drink it, sniff it, eat it, or smoke it, I did it. If I could trespass on private property or break into state fairs after hours, I did it. If I could drive under the influence, I drove it like a bat out of hell (a bat that was really f***ed up!). Long story short, looking back, I'm surprised I'm not dead or in jail for the stupid crap I did when I was younger (note: I quit doing all this about 5 years ago - except for the weed, which I didn't give up until almost a year ago).

The part I have to snicker over every time I leave her house, is the fact that my Mom will still reprimand me for saying things like "butt", "fart", or "sucks". She thinks saying these "curse words" is some of the worst things I've ever done.

Oh if she only knew... The poor thing would probably have a heart attack right there. Let's just keep this little secret between you, me, and the rest of the world that might be reading this blog right now.

God bless my Mom and to all the other Mom's out there that deal with kids like me. I honestly don't know how you do it. Kudos to you.

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Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Police Academy Graduate?!

I am absolutely amazed at this story. A sherriff wrote a ticket to himself because he changed lanes "unsafely".

I'm not at all bothered that he changed lanes "unsafely". I am impressed that he actually took reponsibility for himself. Most cops don't do that. Most cops break laws themselves and/or just don't protect or serve as they really should.

Not this guy. He actually did what was right. Kudos to you Sheriff Dennis Kocken. Kudos to you.

For more entertainment, refer to the plethora of articles in Cranky Monkey's archive for many stories on the other end of this spectrum: Police Academy Dropouts.

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Monday, April 09, 2007

Dub Club

So, most of you know that I am a VW enthusiast. As such, I thought I'd share a pic of my buddy's GTI that he just finished up. This dub is so clean, I have to say I am quite impressed.


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Thursday, March 15, 2007

Rooster VS. IRS

A while back I was groanin' and moanin' about taxes. If you care, you can read the post here.

I fought the battle, sent in the paperwork saying "You're stupid, I don't owe you nuthin'!" Well, that's what it said when you read between the numbers and documents of why I firmly believed I didn't owe the $199 they were saying I did.

I got a letter about a week ago saying "we have received your paperwork and it is being reviewed. We will contact you within 45 days with a resolution. We highly advice that you pay the amount owed and if we determine that the amount owed is valid, you will be charged additional interest."

With that said, I thought to myself "they can stick up their ___!", so I didn't send anything.

Amazingly, I heard back from them today. I didn't know they could function that quick. I've spent more time on hold over the phone with them in the past.

I was expecting "the charges are valid, here's the additional interest charged, send us a check".

Nope.

"We are happy to let you know that after reviewing your documents that we have determined we were incorrect in saying you still owe money for the 2005 tax year. This account has been closed upon your request."

WHOA!!! Did I just battle the IRS and win?! Yes, yes I did. Amazing.

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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Test Drive

Yesterday I went to get the oil changed in my Passat at the dealership. While I was waiting, my buddy who is a salesman there, said "let's go drive the new Audi A3."

Me, being the VW/Audi fanatic I am, said "heck ya, let's go." So he threw me the keys and we drove off the lot.

The A3 is smaller than the Passat, about the same size as a Jetta. This was the only downfall - not that bad though. 2.0L Turbo, DSG (this is a dual-clutch automatic with paddle shifters), 200hp/207 lbs/tq, bucket seats, 18" wheels, stock lowered with euro suspension, incredible ESP, and a pretty sweet sound system with XM radio. 0-60 in 6.2 seconds. All stock.

This car put a perma-smile on my face. I drove the heck out of it. Sliding sideways around turns, turning on sport mode and watching the rev limiter raise up 7500 rpms on every shift, straight up burnin rubber. Oh man, this was a sweet ride.

It was everything I could do to keep myself from trading my Passat in right there. I think I know what my next car is going to be.

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Tuesday, February 27, 2007

The Hunt is Over

After 5 weeks of job searching, video game playing, book reading boredom, I finally got an offer at Microsoft.

So, I've gone from Cingular to Microsoft to Cingular and now back to Microsoft. Full circle, twice.

Whatever, the money is good. I think I'll take it.

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Saturday, February 17, 2007

The Greatest Gift

In this world, people are very proud and love to create things for themselves. They tend to think that even though what they create may not be quite as nice as other options out there, they want to stick with what they made "because they made it".

In this example, let's talk about building a house.

So you decide to build a house with your own blood, sweat, and tears. You mock up the blue-prints, you buy the tools, wood, concrete, wiring, and whatever else you may need.

You start building.

As you go along you find out that building a house is actually very difficult. As you progress, it becomes more complex and you get extremely frustrated. You find you cannot do it alone.

As you become so frustrated and decide you might give up, some strange guy walks up to you and says, "Hey, I see that you are having some troubles there and I thought I might pass along a message. I know a guy who has offered to give you a 'street-of-dreams' quality house, all paid for, no paper work to sign, already built, completely furnished, and ready for you to move in. Just accept this gift and all you have to do in return is get to know him."

Tell me, do you accept the greatest gift you could ever imagine? Or would you say "no thanks", either giving up on your house and losing everything, or let your pride get the best of you and keep building your own house that will never meet the world's standards?

This post is a conversation-starter. Let me know what you would do. I am quite curious.

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Monday, January 08, 2007

What's the capital of Thailand?

The city of Bangkok has gone forward with the best thing since sliced bread:

Naptime!

Based on employee feedback, the City of Bangkok has implemented afternoon naptime in their office. Employees say they feel more refreshed and productive when they take naps in the middle of the day. With that said, this office has constructed a nap room with soft music, sweet-smelling flowers and strict rules disallowing mobile phones and talking.

Listen up corporate America... a happy employee is a productive employee, so let us nap. Just ask Bangkok. If you refuse to follow this trendset, come find me and let me ask you "What is the capital of Thailand?" so that I can punch your junk.

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